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DEAR ABBY: I'm wedded to the lady of my goals. She is the best factor that's ever occurred to me. We both perform in the healthcare industry. She is an hospital health professional, and I'm a paramedic/firefighter..

For several decades my spouse proved helpful the day move at a healthcare center more than an time away from house. I tried to persuade her to discover a job nearer, so we could see each other more. Lastly, she informed me she had been provided a evening move place at the healthcare center here in city. She guaranteed to change to a day move if one started out up. I believed that was excellent.

It has been almost a season now, and she is still operating the evening move. There have been many day time opportunities, but she hasn't asked for any of them. On most of my times off, I observe her rest.

At this factor I'm not sure what to do. I am not satisfied and don't want to invest the relax of my lifestyle like this. I experience like I'm losing out on so much. I have the lady of my goals, but most of enough time she is thinking -- basically. Can you please help? -- AWAKE AND ALONE IN FLORIDA

DEAR AWAKE AND ALONE: You are losing out, on the fun and company that you should be experiencing with your spouse. It's a chance to have a sincere discussion with her and discover out why she has been slowing down about modifying changes. There could be more incorrect in your wedding than mismatched plans, but the issues won't be settled unless you can be sincere with each other. The unique circumstances is unjust to you, and you are right to be involved.


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DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I have organised a celebration for our others who live nearby every season for the last 10 decades. Eventually, we have welcomed more and more individuals, and we appreciate almost everyone. However, one of our others who live nearby, "Jim," is very impolite. For the last several decades he has taken it upon himself to encourage several individuals to our celebration who he seems should be on the record. These are individuals we intentionally did not encourage.

Last season we made the decision not to encourage Jim, but after he sent several e-mails challenging to know the time frame and time, we hesitantly welcomed him. He then had the sensors to deliver out an e-mail to a multitude of individuals he believed we had skipped on the record of visitors, informing them of the celebration. This really uncomfortable my spouse and me.

How can I tell him it's not his celebration, and how do we cope with the scenario with the people we did not originally encourage but now know about the party? -- IT'S OUR PARTY

DEAR PARTY: There is more than one way to cope with this. The most apparent would be to notify Jim that he won't be welcomed this season and tell him why. He is every host's headache, and his actions is beyond nervy. A variety must know how many visitors to get ready for to make sure there will be enough meals and drinks for everyone.

Another way would be to abandon providing the celebration for a season or two and perhaps take a brief vacation. Tell anyone who requests why that the events became too huge to cope with. And then, when you continue interesting, restrict the record of visitors to something more romantic than a launching contact for "American Idol."
One factor is certain: If you keep accept what's been occurring, your kindness will keep be misused.